I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
