there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
