The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
