no, he came in my armpit
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
