i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Even the bartender felt bad for me
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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