Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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