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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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