LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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