i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
