Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Quick, to the slutcave!
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Never let your siblings swipe right.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
