who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
