This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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