My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
