Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize