You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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