I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
