Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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