i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Randomize
