If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
