I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
