If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
These tits shall not be calmed
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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