i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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