I want to have your abortion
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
