We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize