And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
