Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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