remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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