He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
