Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
