Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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