Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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