i was born a porn star she said
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
