everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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