I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
