i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
