Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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