maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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