Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize