Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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