i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Randomize
