I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
