Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
