Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
