"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
you would pick up someone in the library
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
