everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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