great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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