Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
