He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Randomize
