Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
The uberlube is also flammable
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
