Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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