You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
