he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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