That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Four minutes until I can fart!
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
