I will die if light touches me.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
