STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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