I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
