Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
