when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
