worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Randomize
