dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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