It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
