I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
