i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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