He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
