Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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